written by Rebecca-Sophia Strong
Photo by RDNE Stock project
The world often leaves us riding waves of emotions—sometimes elated, other times anxious or uncertain. These contrasting emotions reflect the complexity of life and can feel overwhelming. The key to navigating such moments lies in a concept central to emotional resilience: holding paradox.
By learning to acknowledge and validate opposing emotions simultaneously, we expand our capacity to process them without becoming overwhelmed. This practice strengthens mental health and helps us navigate personal relationships and societal challenges with greater compassion and understanding.
Understanding Paradox and Emotional Resilience
When extreme emotions arise, we often feel the need to choose one: hope or fear, joy or frustration. This instinct is rooted in our brain’s tendency to simplify complex emotions. However, forcing a choice can lead to emotional dysregulation, making us react impulsively or feel stuck.
This is where the concept of the “window of tolerance” becomes vital. The window of tolerance refers to the emotional zone in which we can process experiences without feeling overwhelmed. Practices like holding paradox and techniques from EMDR therapy expand this window, allowing us to stay grounded during emotional extremes.
How to Practice Holding Paradox
Here’s a simple approach to embracing emotional paradoxes:
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Start by identifying what you’re feeling. Whether it’s hope, fear, anger, or joy, allow yourself to sit with these emotions without judgment. Writing them down or sharing them with a trusted person can help.
Validate Your Emotions
All emotions are valid—even contradictory ones. Feeling hope and fear simultaneously doesn’t make you conflicted; it makes you human. Validating your emotions gives you the freedom to experience them fully.
Breathe to Ground Yourself
Use grounding techniques to anchor your body and mind. Try the Four-Part Breath (inhale for three counts, hold for three, exhale for three, hold for three) to help regulate your nervous system. This simple exercise is a powerful tool in practices like EMDR therapy.
Welcome the Extremes
Allow yourself to sit with the tension of paradox. Feeling deeply about opposing emotions can increase your empathy for life’s complexities. Holding space for this discomfort can build resilience and broaden your perspective.
Shift from Reacting to Responding
Extreme emotions often lead to impulsive reactions. Pause before acting or speaking, giving yourself time to respond thoughtfully. This moment of reflection helps you engage with intention rather than emotion.
Extend Compassion to Others
Acknowledge that others may also be navigating emotional extremes. Whether they share your feelings or not, offer empathy. You don’t have to agree, but recognizing their emotions fosters understanding and connection.
The Role of EMDR Therapy
EMDR therapy is a valuable tool in expanding the window of tolerance and processing unresolved emotional responses. By helping individuals integrate past experiences, it builds resilience and the ability to hold paradox in present-day challenges. Whether addressing personal trauma or navigating societal tensions, EMDR therapy equips us with the skills to respond with clarity and balance.
Embracing Paradox for Greater Peace
Holding paradox allows us to process emotional extremes with compassion and grace. By sitting with discomfort, we gain clarity and develop a deeper connection to ourselves and others. Take a deep breath, honor your feelings, and let them coexist. You don’t have to choose between them.
Stay kind, stay grounded, and remember you’re not alone. Together, we can build a more compassionate and resilient world.
If you want to learn more about EMDR Therapy, click here.