written by Rebecca-Sophia Strong
Photo by Tara Winstead
While we often focus on managing anxiety and stress, understanding how the brain works can be a transformative step toward emotional and mental well-being.
The brain is constantly asking questions, with one of its most fundamental being, "Am I safe?" This question shapes how we relate to others, process experiences, and navigate life. Let’s explore the power of this question and how it influences our ability to feel secure, connected, and capable of growth.
The Brain’s Core Question: "Am I Safe?"
The brain’s primary function is survival, and it’s hardwired to protect us by scanning for danger through a process called neuroception. It’s always asking, "Am I safe?" When the answer is "Yes," the body relaxes. A sense of calm takes over, and the nervous system shifts out of high alert, allowing you to focus on higher-level functions like creativity and problem-solving.
However, when the brain detects more danger than safety, it enters a protective mode. This can manifest as anxiety, stress, or feelings of overwhelm. In these moments, thinking clearly and connecting with others becomes difficult, as the brain prioritizes survival over everything else.
From Safety to Connection: "Am I Loved?"
Once the brain feels safe, it moves on to the next question: "Am I loved?" This reflects our need for connection and belonging. Feeling loved is not just about having people around but about feeling seen, heard, and understood.
The limbic system, the brain’s emotional center, plays a key role here. When it senses connection and affection, it answers "Yes" to "Am I loved?" This fosters emotional stability and strengthens relationships. Love and connection also help us manage stress, providing the foundation we need to explore creativity, learning, and growth.
The Power of Learning: "What Can I Learn?"
When safety and love are assured, the brain shifts into a state of curiosity and exploration. It asks, "What can I learn from this?" At this stage, cognitive functions like problem-solving and creative thinking are fully engaged.
This is where growth happens. Safe, connected environments—whether at home, work, or therapy—nurture curiosity and discovery. These conditions allow the brain to embrace challenges, adapt to adversity, and unlock its full potential.
Trauma and the Brain: When Safety and Connection Are Disrupted
Trauma can disrupt this natural progression, keeping the brain stuck in survival mode. If you’ve experienced trauma, your brain may remain fixated on the question, "Am I safe?" even when no immediate danger exists. This constant state of alert can lead to persistent anxiety and stress.
Similarly, unresolved trauma can interfere with the brain’s ability to feel love and connection, leaving individuals feeling isolated and emotionally disconnected. These disruptions create barriers to learning, growth, and emotional regulation.
EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an effective approach to addressing trauma. By targeting distressing memories, EMDR Therapy helps the brain process unresolved experiences, restoring a sense of safety and connection. It’s a transformative tool that allows individuals to move out of survival mode and into a state of healing and growth.
Therapy: A Path to Emotional Healing and Growth
If unresolved trauma, anxiety, or emotional disconnection is holding you back, therapy can provide the support you need. At Strong Solutions, we specialize in trauma resolution techniques, including EMDR Therapy, to help clients find a sense of safety and connection.
Therapy creates the conditions for the brain to answer "Yes" to the questions, "Am I safe?" and "Am I loved?" Once safety and connection are restored, personal growth and creativity follow naturally. Healing from trauma clears the way for learning, exploration, and building deeper relationships.
Take the First Step
If you’re feeling stuck in patterns of anxiety or disconnection, reach out for support. Through EMDR Therapy and other trauma-focused approaches, you can heal from past experiences and move toward a fulfilling, meaningful life.
This Month’s Sanity Hack
Take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask, "Am I safe? Do I feel loved? What can I learn from this?" Answering these questions can help you restore balance and clarity. If you’re ready for deeper healing, Strong Solutions is here to guide you. Together, we can work toward creating a life where your brain answers "Yes" to what truly matters.
If you want to learn more about EMDR Therapy, click here.