written by Rebecca-Sophia Strong
Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV
In this post, I want to share a powerful tool I learned from Gay Hendricks, a renowned author and leader in conscious living. His work, including the book A Big Leap and The Genius Zone, has transformed how many approach personal growth and success. One key concept he introduces is the idea of the upper limit, a hidden force that often works against us when things start going too well.
Let’s dive into how the upper limit might be affecting you and how you can reframe it to create more space for peace and joy.
What Is the Upper Limit?
In simple terms, the upper limit is a psychological barrier many of us unknowingly hit when things are going really well in our lives. It’s an internal cap on how much happiness, success, or joy we allow ourselves to experience. Here’s how it works: You may start feeling happiness, success, or peace—your relationships are thriving, your work is going well, and you’re generally content. But eventually, you might find yourself slipping back into negative thoughts or habits. You might feel stressed, irritable, or anxious for no apparent reason. This is your upper limit at work.
When you surpass your “comfortable” level of happiness or success, a part of your psyche fears it won’t last or that you don’t deserve it. As a result, you may unknowingly sabotage your happiness or success to bring yourself back down to a more familiar level. EMDR Therapy can also help identify the deeper emotional blocks tied to self-sabotage, allowing you to break through these patterns.
Recognizing the Upper Limit in Action
During stressful times, such as the holidays or the end of the year, this upper limit can show up in different ways:
Grumpiness: You might feel irritated when those around you seem to be in high spirits.
Social media fatigue: Constant online updates can overwhelm you and make you feel disconnected or anxious.
Self-sabotage: You may procrastinate or abandon your routines, eating foods that don’t align with your health goals or skipping workouts.
Once you recognize this, you can take intentional steps to rise above it.
The Reframe: Climb Up, Not Slide Back Down
The upper limit doesn’t have to hold you back. Awareness is the first step. When you feel that “edgy” feeling—whether it’s irritability, anxiety, or fatigue—it’s time to pause and check in with yourself.
Here’s a powerful tool to use next time you feel like you’re about to hit your upper limit: Climb up instead of sliding back down. Imagine you’re at the top of a ridge or mountain. When you feel yourself slipping into negative thinking, stop and take a breath. Instead of reacting from old habits—falling into self-criticism, frustration, or conflict—ask yourself: “What’s available now from this vantage point?”
This question helps shift your focus from what’s not working to what is possible. It invites you to think creatively and expansively rather than getting stuck in limiting beliefs.
Ask yourself:
What’s possible in my relationships right now? Maybe you’ve felt disconnected from your partner or family. Instead of frustration, how can you approach the relationship with creativity and growth?
What’s possible in my success or career? If you’re feeling stressed about work, how can new opportunities or creative approaches unfold? Shift your mindset to see challenges as opportunities for growth.
What new joy is available from this vantage point? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, how can you invite joy into the present moment? A walk in nature, dancing to your favorite song, or savoring a cup of tea can provide instant relief.
By shifting your perspective, you create space for new possibilities and ease.
Practical Tips for Climbing Beyond Your Upper Limit
Here are steps you can take to make this practice part of your daily life:
Pause and Breathe: When you feel tension from the upper limit, take a deep breath and center yourself. This resets your nervous system and creates space for a new perspective.
Identify the Upper Limit: Notice when things are going well, and pay attention to when you start feeling uncomfortable or want to pull back. That’s often a sign your upper limit is at play.
Shift Your Focus: Ask, “What’s available from this vantage point?” Focus on opportunities for growth, connection, or creativity.
Visualize Climbing: Imagine climbing higher, seeing new possibilities and perspectives.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge growth, joy, or success, no matter how small. This reinforces positive momentum.
EMDR Therapy can be a helpful tool for those seeking to break through upper limits and increase self-awareness in the process of personal growth.
Embrace Peace and Joy
You are capable of navigating life’s upper limits. By shifting your mindset and climbing higher, you open yourself to growth and happiness. You’ve got this. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress or self-sabotage, EMDR Therapy can help you break through these barriers. You have the power to move beyond your upper limits and create the peace and success you deserve.
If you want to learn more about EMDR Therapy, click here.